Today I took a day off work. I had a long skype with my fiance, I bought a new truck (the goal for my day off), I had a long phone call with my mom. I called a tenant I've been having minor problems with and worked it out. I drove across the city to get a new lease signed with another tenant, then came back and did some work on a house. Wired in a light fixture, second coat of paint on a kitchen wall and trim, cut two beadboard wall panels to fit around a window and nailed them up. Phone says I had text conversations with 14 people today, mostly business related, or checking in on people I love. That's a productive day, right? Most of my days are like this. It's all about loved ones or business. And the business is going well - filling out the application for my car loan, realized I've about quadrupled my income and put 200 points on my credit score. Why do I feel like such a shithead? If I was actually successful and loved wouldn't I be happy?
barring unforeseen circumstances, my life looks from here like it'll be classically perfect. Shouldn't I look forward to that, be content with it? — BGLZxOJIriba Nah. Fuck that. Don't feel bad about thinking the American Dream isn't your thing. Look at KjZw right now. (Sorry bud.) Chase Mars. Research FIRE. Don't marry the first person who you can picture marrying. Sounds like you were born with the same privileges I was, use them. Improve something.
Can't tell if I'm bored or really interested in everything
Nice to be back. Now have to decide which comments to address first. Next week may be spotty too - week-long biz trip on the heels of week-long camping trip. American dream: I was born (barely) in the 50s and grew up in the 60s and 70s, seeing the classic suburban American dream: family, kids, house in the suburbs, challenging & rewarding job, upper middle class household, well-funded retirement. I could have been happy with that. Maybe. But trying to re-create that sort of thing in today's economy is pretty close to impossible, especially the part where you get to stop working and don't get fucked over. Times change, and I've had to change with them. But that's a big part of why I understand the despair & rage that got Trump elected & keeps half the electorate agreeing with him. Dreams of future past. BLGZ, you'll need to find your own way. Maybe it starts out with job + wife + 2.5 kids, maybe it doesn't. You'll figure it out.
Not going home over the weekend is pretty boring.

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